Have you ever left your domicile and realized about four hours later that you aren’t wearing the same shoes? It’s just one of those days. No one really noticed today that I was wearing different shoes unless I told them. I knew, but to be fair, I told myself out loud that I was wearing different shoes. This was actually a really easy situation to deal with as wearing two different shoes is something I might do on my own. But I couldn’t and wouldn’t claim that was what I was doing. It would have been easy but I don’t want to take credit for something I didn’t do. I physically did it, but mentally it was the exact opposite. It reminds me of what George Carlin said about people and their pride for their nationality. I agree with it. How and why are you proud to be, say Irish? You get that a lot, especially since we are still relatively close to St. Patrick’s day or any holiday/festival for a nationality. Now this has nothing to do with actually being Irish at all it is more of a question of how can you be proud of something you had nothing to do with? You had no say or bearing on the act that made you you, so how can you be proud of it? You might be happy that you are Irish or American, which I’m perfectly fine with, but proud? I believe you shouldn’t take pride in things you can’t control and should reserve pride for some sort of accomplishment of your doing.
Though not a direct correlation, I was reading my good friend’s blog, http://jessicakratz.blogspot.com/ (Check it out as she has a bit of fire to her words) , and it is about bullying. Now I’m not going to talk exactly about what she did but on something I noticed about some of the bullying I’ve seen. Why is it that often people decide to pick on or bully someone for something or some quality that is entirely out of their control? I witnessed this and was often pissed when people picked on or made fun of someone for being poor. Why? Picking on someone because of their finical situation that they have no control over is like picking on someone because they were born with black hair or because they are 5’8. That is also like the situation where someone does not like a particular building because it is painted blue. But the person starts yelling at the building for being blue instead of the person who decided to paint it blue. It is also as stupid and pointless as yelling at a dog for being a dog. These things have no choice in the things that are being questioned, so what’s the point? If you are to address someone on their faults or question them, it should be on their actions and choices they’ve made rather than the symptoms that are victim to that they can’t control. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be called out, but it should be for putting a fork in an electric socket, not because they can’t afford to shop anywhere other than the Goodwill.
Im going to leave that at that because I honesty wanted to write this blog about something else and I’m drifting farther and farther away. Though this never has really stopped me, I don’t want to get too deep into anything just now. That and I think that sudden topic switches adds more of that original spice from my earlier entries. Though like when companies claim to be using the same recipe and methods in making their product for the past hundred or so years, this doesn’t mean it is a good thing. But it is what it is.
HI.
So I decided to do some cleaning about a week ago. And so I did. It’s back to messy but something happened in the few hours that it was clean~ Isn’t it funny how when you clean you find things you forgot about and you find things you haven’t seen in forever and you feel like a winner? But right before you pat yourself on your back you realize that you lost things that are ten times more important that the things you just found. So yeah, I lost my glasses. It’s not too bad because have a 2nd pair but…where are they? After cleaning, isn’t suppose to be finding things supposed to be easier? I mean, I had them before I started cleaning but they were lost when I had finished. I also lost my school ID in a similar situation where I was in two rooms and it got lost. I checked everywhere within the two rooms I was in (the rooms were next to each other [computer labs]) and everything I had with me but alas no dice.
The other thing that I did when I was cleaning was to try and clean up the path I was on. And I have to admit sadly that I’m finally declared. I’m now a studio art major with a minor in creative writing and Asian studies ( with a possibility of an art history minor as well). And you know what? I don’t like it. I don’t like the feeling. I feel way dirtier then when my arms and clothes are coated with paint from my art projects. It feels like an ugly nonphysical weight on my skin that is pulling me down. See I hate that I have to declare in visual art or writing art. I do both and will always do both, but we have to choose one. But that goes against a lot of my principles. I’m not one for labels and that is exactly what this is doing. Most people are happy when they declare but I’m not. It’s not like I don’t love visual arts, because I do, it’s the feeling I get. I do a lot of my art, both writing and visual, based on mood and feeling. It’s odd because I feel that, in order to transcend into something greater, you must release yourself from labels and titles and just be and to just allow, but the school is telling me that to be something great I must label myself and just follow. It’s a bad taste in my mouth that just adds another couple a meters on the track I’m running down with my pen and paint can. Want to run a relay with me?
And on a bottom note, the Fire Monkey and I are cooking up something special so look out for it and free your calendars for later in the month of April, it’s going to be Slaw. Take care everyone and remember to think and know that you got to keep going. If you need help just hit me up, I can’t do much, but I can do a little. And sometimes a pebble can move a river. Sometimes it can’t. But sometimes is can. And sometimes it can join the other pebbles to…..ok I’ll just stop. Thanks for reading, much love everyone, Zai jian.
~Love~
P.S. I told you about my friend’s blog http://jessicakratz.blogspot.com/ , but you should also check out my other friends blog http://myblog.cynthiabateman.com/ . Both are amazing and they are also amazingly awesome people who don’t mind expressing their opinions and doing it regularly (much more frequently then my blog). Both are highly recommended. Thanks.
P.P.S. I'm super proud of all my pledges. You really make me happy. You make me feel my hours put in are worth something,thanks.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Home at Home
I’ve commented many times on how much I love being at home and how much of a better mood I always seem to be here. And this return trip is non-different. This week was my spring break, yes spring break during winter. My school never fails me, unless of course it is a power failure. I think I’m at a problem though. My body has been getting a solid 8 hours of sleep a day, good meals, and a decent mix of excitement and relaxation. Having a room to yourself that is quite and has a bed in it ( opposed to my couch in the kitchen{which I still love}) is so nice. I’ve almost forgotten what it is like to sleep in a comfortable bed. But besides really falling behind in my work, I can feel my body softening up and is going to get a rather rude awakening call when I get back.
I was going to wait at the end of the break to write this but tomorrow is going to be spent doing work and then hanging with family till I leave Sunday morning. I’m not writing this after I get back as I’m going to have to go right back into the full swing of things and probably won’t have time for this. So right now is a good time. I was going to do work but I’ve been messing with a new cheap Mp3 player. My Zune has been broke for awhile now I’ve been using my oldest/first Mp3 player. Though I love it and am proud of it, I need to be able to switch music (the old one has a permanent list). Now this new one is a 4 gigabyte generic brand and was only $30. I wondered why so cheap and I just found out. The software on it is very stupid. There is no sorting system and just runs through the songs by going down the list of artist alphabetically. Now there might be a save grace in the disk manager for the device. The only problem is that it is in Chinese. I know what you are thinking, “…but you take Chinese…shouldn’t you be able to read it?” The answer is probably yes. But I can’t. And it is sad. I’ve tried turning it into English but no dice. It is a rather big head ache and I wasted a lot of time so being quite in a bad mind frame I decided to write this instead of homework. I know, I just keep making smart decision after another.
I probably sound annoying ( I think so) so I’m going to stop talking about it. This trip back wasn’t anything really to crow about but it was very good. I’ve notice I’m seeing this in a slightly different perspective such as family and the situations my family/friends and myself are in. New thoughts and interests mingling with my old ones, I hope they play nice. I don’t know what I want to say. I guess I feel physically well, but I find myself mentally frustrated. I think this is due to my momentary ejection from school. I have many things that I’m trying to sort and deal with and although they haven’t really left me here at home, I’ve been allowed to relax and change the scene a bit. It reminds me of when I’m walking on campus. Right outside of Peck Hall there is a small “U” path that is seemingly pointless. It is right alongside the main path and it doesn’t lead anywhere special. It is just a momentary step outside of the stream of people. I really like it because it is almost like walking in a raging river. And just for a moment you pop out of the water and you get to look at the river itself while enjoying a slight eerie quite while you were out of the water. And as you hang you get a new perspective look and feel before coming right back into the river. But now that I’m about to head back into the river, school, all the problems that I had are coming back and I feel that I’m a bit weaken by my momentary relaxation. Like alcohol, this was but a temporary fix to my problems and though it may seem like they are gone, they were just waiting until my vision focuses again. So I think I’m just going to but some music on and go see if I can find queen Mab and have a chat with her. I’ve never been a fan of Shakespeare but I have to thank him for introducing me to her formally (we’ve known each other for awhile just only it’s been very one sided in her favor). Big day today and I hope everything goes grand. Well take care everyone and remember to think and keep warm. Gussuri Oyasumi .
~Love~
P.S. I finally, after about the 6th or 7th time trying, finishing reading the book “Parasite Eve” and it is great. I recommend people to read it as well as play the game. Both are very well made and I think you should all give it a shot and not allow school to get in the way as it has for me every time.
P.S.S. I finally got a copy of my second movie (it might or might not be “MY” copy) and I’m bringing it to school so we can all watch it. Contact me if you want to watch it!
I was going to wait at the end of the break to write this but tomorrow is going to be spent doing work and then hanging with family till I leave Sunday morning. I’m not writing this after I get back as I’m going to have to go right back into the full swing of things and probably won’t have time for this. So right now is a good time. I was going to do work but I’ve been messing with a new cheap Mp3 player. My Zune has been broke for awhile now I’ve been using my oldest/first Mp3 player. Though I love it and am proud of it, I need to be able to switch music (the old one has a permanent list). Now this new one is a 4 gigabyte generic brand and was only $30. I wondered why so cheap and I just found out. The software on it is very stupid. There is no sorting system and just runs through the songs by going down the list of artist alphabetically. Now there might be a save grace in the disk manager for the device. The only problem is that it is in Chinese. I know what you are thinking, “…but you take Chinese…shouldn’t you be able to read it?” The answer is probably yes. But I can’t. And it is sad. I’ve tried turning it into English but no dice. It is a rather big head ache and I wasted a lot of time so being quite in a bad mind frame I decided to write this instead of homework. I know, I just keep making smart decision after another.
I probably sound annoying ( I think so) so I’m going to stop talking about it. This trip back wasn’t anything really to crow about but it was very good. I’ve notice I’m seeing this in a slightly different perspective such as family and the situations my family/friends and myself are in. New thoughts and interests mingling with my old ones, I hope they play nice. I don’t know what I want to say. I guess I feel physically well, but I find myself mentally frustrated. I think this is due to my momentary ejection from school. I have many things that I’m trying to sort and deal with and although they haven’t really left me here at home, I’ve been allowed to relax and change the scene a bit. It reminds me of when I’m walking on campus. Right outside of Peck Hall there is a small “U” path that is seemingly pointless. It is right alongside the main path and it doesn’t lead anywhere special. It is just a momentary step outside of the stream of people. I really like it because it is almost like walking in a raging river. And just for a moment you pop out of the water and you get to look at the river itself while enjoying a slight eerie quite while you were out of the water. And as you hang you get a new perspective look and feel before coming right back into the river. But now that I’m about to head back into the river, school, all the problems that I had are coming back and I feel that I’m a bit weaken by my momentary relaxation. Like alcohol, this was but a temporary fix to my problems and though it may seem like they are gone, they were just waiting until my vision focuses again. So I think I’m just going to but some music on and go see if I can find queen Mab and have a chat with her. I’ve never been a fan of Shakespeare but I have to thank him for introducing me to her formally (we’ve known each other for awhile just only it’s been very one sided in her favor). Big day today and I hope everything goes grand. Well take care everyone and remember to think and keep warm. Gussuri Oyasumi .
~Love~
P.S. I finally, after about the 6th or 7th time trying, finishing reading the book “Parasite Eve” and it is great. I recommend people to read it as well as play the game. Both are very well made and I think you should all give it a shot and not allow school to get in the way as it has for me every time.
P.S.S. I finally got a copy of my second movie (it might or might not be “MY” copy) and I’m bringing it to school so we can all watch it. Contact me if you want to watch it!
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