Payton …..
Mr. Gentile …..
And my Uncle Phil
Love.
Hmmmm I think if I had anyone following my blog they have stopped or forgotten about it by now. But once they make it back they we remember that I made a promise to have a blog entry within a week or close to it….that was exactly 2 months ago. I deeply apologize and I can’t really make a good enough excuse as to my long leave of absence. But I’m back and I promise this one will be full of….. well it will be full. I’m sorry if this will bore or turn you away. I just feel I should write a bit.
Whether there is an afterlife, heaven, hell, reincarnation, or Thug Mansion ect. There is always a fresh batch of applicants awaiting their new homes every day. It is often that we humans, in general, often disregard the fact. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we are disrespectful but, typically if the death is not of someone we know it quickly fades from memory. When someone close dies it can seem like the world is ending. But if we hear that a hundred or so died in an overseas conflict we might say “How sad” but think nothing more of it. Not saying their lives had less value but it feels that way. I understand asking anyone to care for everyone would be ludicrous for the shear amount of people pass every day but I just want to remind people that, even if you don’t know them, someone does and they are people. They maybe complete opposites, hold different beliefs, speak a different language, pray to a different God, and or wear a different kind of hat, they are still human and we are all family. I’m not going to linger too long on this I just want send it up one to everyone who went before me regardless if I knew who they were or even if we would have agreed on anything. Love.
Too Payton, one of the three dogs that I ever cared about. I typically don’t put animals on the same level as humans (sorry Brenda) even though I often level the argument that humans are nothing more the animals, but this is one of the rare occasions. I by no means look down upon people who have a deep connection with animals (though some take it too far). Payton was the Garritano’s dog that I knew longer than many of my friends. I’ve known that dog since the middle of grade school, through high school, and 2 years of college. When I first met her, she was so big that I could have rode her like a horse if I wanted to. You were one cool pup. See you later Twinky.
Too Mr. Gentile, though I didn’t know him that well his daughter I’ve known for as long as I can remember. One of my oldestfriends,though we don’t talk as much, family is forever. I don’t really have any stories but it is hard for anyone to lose their pop’s. This painting is for Colleen when I see her next.
Too Uncle Phil, this one hurt. I find myself freezing up whenever I try to write down my feelings and ideas when it comes to Uncle Phil. Not for a lack of them but for an inability to do them righteousness. When we had a mass for him back home we had the chance to fill out these cards about memories we had about him. But when I had the chance I couldn’t string together what I wanted to say. Another sign that I’ve yet to become a writer. I was very disappointed in myself. I did write but not to what he deserved. But we can’t always help that. I know that writing down doesn’t really mean anything because, even though I failed with pen and paper, I see it all crystal clear in my mind. I remember the numerous wrestling events including Wrestlemania. I remember the legendary parties that were an absolutely must attend event. I remember Uncle Phil and my Dad going absolutely ballistic over the validity of an answer in the game of Scattergories. He had my all time favorite usage of the adjective “brutal”. I could go on but like before I find my thinking disjointed and I don’t want to delude anything. Just know Unc’ that miss you and you will be the one and only, Uncle Phil. 
And this picture is for you. Like my writing doesn’t do justice but I think you’ll understand. Love always.
I’m going to shift topics if that is alright if you? Yeah? No?.....yes. You know what I’ve learned? Working takes up time and energy! I know crazy isn’t it? It is true, I’ve been working at my church and have been recently hired (though I still don’t know if I’m getting paid) to coach “The Beautiful Game” a.k.a. soccer. While at work I find it increasingly hard to write and do art. Only after said work am I allotted time to do whatever I want in which I often find myself tired. It is a sick world we live in.
I’m helping one of my bestest friends move into a new house. It’s fun! But something struck when we were sitting on his couch at the new house taking a break. I said “This is weird” because it’s not the same anymore. I know everything is in constant change but it is becoming evident everyday. Typically in the summer, I just play video games, do some art, and basically chill at his pad. But now I was helping him move in on his own. We were talking about Jobs and careers in the present instead of the life long “when I’m older”. Granted we are still very young, no longer is it just going to be kicking it until I pass out on his couch, just to wake up and continue on what I left of the night….morning before. I know I could use my favorite 2pac line right know from the song “Changes” but I’m not going to as you probably heard to from me plenty of times enough. It’s not that I dislike this change but it is a significant loss of innocents in a way.
Another thing that has been changing significantly is our creative works. The first is a picture I made for my Chinese friend 王力薇 or Vickie. 
I haven’t talked to her in a really long time and it makes me sad. Hopefully you will see this and can contact me again. The other change I see is in the movies we are making. If you’ve been keeping up our next big movie “I’m Still Here” will be premiering at T.F.North on August 1st. I will tell you more info when I learn or you can go to the website at www.powertriostudios.com. When Harry has sent me some of the clips of our movie I can clearly see why change can be a good thing. I don’t want say that we are good but it is defiantly a vast improvement over “Noir”. I can’t wait.
Also news, my movie has been postponed till next year for a few reasons. The main reason is focusing on two other big projects that require large amounts of time and energy. Both have a deadline. Shooting my movie would put an incredible amount of strain on time and resources. The shooting of my movie would be in the neighborhood of a week or 2, so we talked it over and it will be held off till next summer.
Now that my movie has been put on hold I’ve been redirecting my mind elsewhere. I admit openly that my mind is being dragged around like crazy of late. It is hard to explain but some of the feelings I have now I’ve never had before and I don’t know what to do. The words enamored and infatuated come to mind. When the same thoughts and feelings occupy your mind before you sleep, in your dreams, and are the first things you wake you to, it is hard to make any sort of output without it being compromised in some way. I believe I’ve fallen into a sort of writing slump as I’ve been a loss for words for awhile and I’ve been watching many of ideas be aborted before they got to grow up. But this feeling I have, this emotion, idea, I’m going to do my best to capture it on canvas. My big summer project is a compilation of my creative skills in the attempts to capture the essence of now. I don’t want to take a long time on this but at the same time I do. Like my writing, my art lacks both experience and skill so I’m going all out by both spending a lot of time and capturing feeling quickly. It will be a multi-media piece involving writing, painting, and a bit of sculpture. I’ve never felt this way before and it is so intoxicating that, though I doubt I will ever forget it, I want to capture it and share/ live in it after it’s gone. It’s one of those things that tilt on absolute joy and despair. It is a beautiful thing even if it turns out ugly. Whichever way it ends up tilting, I want to this in more than memory. Let’s hope the wind blows in my favor, though I have that sinking feeling that the gale I’m looking for has long past, carrying along Dream Birds and the like along with it past the point of no return. But I can dream can’t I?
I know I also promised to put in a short story but I again must break that. I just don’t feel like it would fit nicely in this blog. Plus it would take up a lot of room on a already decent size blog. But I will say I plan ( I no longer promise on this but plan) on having my next post be just the story and a few words. I have to think of what story to put on but it will be relatively soon. Way sooner than the last post. Again I’m sorry, but until my head clears up I might be lost in the clouds more than usual. Only now I feel truly lost instead of just wondering around. Thank you everyone who is here reading. It means a lot and hopefully I will see you or talk to you soon. Take care and stay safe. And always remember
~Love~
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